I JUST DONT KNOW?

IM HAVING A REALLY HARD TIME TONIGHT! IM REALLY MISSING THA BOY AND ITS STARTING TO GET TO ME. I KNEW THIS WOULD BE HARD. I DID, BUT I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH. I THINK THE HARDEST PART IS THAT HES NOT DEPLOYED HES JUST IN THE FIELD TRAINING ***ALOT*** LATELY! THEY ARE TRAINING FOR DEPLOYMENT SO THERE WILL BE ALOT MORE TRAINING  BEFORE IT GETS BETTER, IF IT EVER GETS BETTER? 

SINCE ITS THE WEEKEND AND ITS RAINED ALL WEEKEND, MYSELF AND THE LITTLE MAN HAVE BEEN STUCK IN THE HOUSE:( WHICH MAKES TIME GO BY SOOOOO SLOW. SHAY IS SUPPOSED TO BE BACK IN THE BARRACKS THURSDAY NIGHT HOPEFULLY. I WILL ADMIT MY FEELINGS WERE A LITTLE HURT TONIGHT. HES BEEN IN THE COLD, SNOWY FIELD SINCE 0400 LAST SATURDAY AND HE GOT A FEW HOURS TO GO BACK TO THE BARRACKS TODAY AND SHOWER, REST, ECT. HE WENT BACK SHOWERED, DID LAUNDRY, AND SLEPT UNTIL TIME TO REPORT BACK TO GO TO THE FIELD. HE NEVER CALLED ME OR TEXTED ME OR ANYTHING. I THINK ABOUT HIM 24/7 AND HE DOESN'T TAKE THE TIME OUT TO JUST SHOOT ME A TEXT? I DIDN'T FIND OUT THAT HE GOT TO GO BACK UNTIL HE WAS ALREADY IN THE FIELD AGAIN. THERE'S OTHER THINGS ON MY MIND AS WELL SO I GUESS YOU COULD SAY IM STRUGGLING A LITTLE. I FEEL LIKE IM A BIT LOST AND IM TRYING TO FIND MYSELF AND WHATS BEST FOR MYSELF, SHAY, AND KOLBEY.

KOLBEY LOVES MAKING SHAY THINGS, PAINTINGS, CARDS, LETTERS ECT. HE THINKS ITS THE COOLEST THING TO GO TO THE POST OFFICE AND MAIL SHAY GOODIES WITH HIS SPECIAL STAMPS. WE MAILED HIM A LEPRECHAUN MADE OUT OF KOLBEYS HAND PRINT, I SENT HIM JUST A LITTLE SNAIL MAIL TO SHOW HIM I CARE AND THEN WE SENT HIS BAHAMA GOODIES THAT WE GOT HIM WHILE WE WERE ON OUR CRUISE. NOW, SINCE WE HAVE BEEN STUCK IN THE HOUSE ALL WEEKEND AND TOMORROW TOO.. WE MADE HIM A EASTER GOODIE BOX. IM AFRAID IM SENDING TOO MUCH? BUT EVERYTHING I LISTED IS THE FIRST TIME IVE SENT HIM ANYTHING? GRRR THIS IS SO IRRITATING  WELL ANYWAYS, IM SENDING THE BOX BECAUSE KOLBEY HAS POURED HIS HEART AND SOUL INTO IT AND IM NOT TELLING HIM THAT ITS NOT GOING TO THE POST OFFICE LOL. WE MADE A CUTE SCENE ON THE INSIDE OF THE BOX. BLUE SKIES, FLUFFY COTTON FOR CLOUDS. CUTE GRASS (ACTUALLY MADE OUT OF THE SAME MATERIAL MY FLOWERS WERE WRAPPED IN WHEN HE HAD THEM DELIVERED), AND LITTLE MINI EASTER EGGS HIDDEN IN THE GRASS MADE OUT OF KOLS FINGERPRINTS! I THINK ITS SUPER CUTE! KOL LOVES IT AND WE FILLED IT WITH EASTER GRASS AND EGGS FILLED WITH THA BOYS FAVORITE CANDY. SO I GUESS HE'LL HAVE LOTS TO OPEN WHEN HE GETS BACK! LOL LIKE IT OR NOT

HAHA HE HAS PAINT ALL OVER HIS HANDS AND FEET! THOSE AREN'T BRUISES LOL